


Chosen Paths

by Okami01



Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Felix Hugo Fraldarius Suffers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, M/M, POV Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sad Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:49:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: Felix has been upset for years, weeks days,  hours. The passage of time plagued by war and bloodshed. It has to come to an end at some point. He can't keep avoiding Dimitri foreverFor Dimilix Week- Free Day
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Dimilix Week 2021 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163501
Kudos: 8
Collections: 2021 Dimilix Week





	Chosen Paths

It's been years since Felix has called Dimitri by his name. When the word didn't feel like poison on his tongue. 

Boar prince. Perhaps boar king if they could win this goddess-forsaken war.

It's been hours since they'd buried his father. His corpse somewhere around under Gronder field with the rest who'd died that day. They hadn't had time to go back to Fraldarius. That's where his old man would have wanted to be buried. 

Not that it matters. Rodrigue Fraldarius is dead. 

There's no way for him to feel joy or pain. The pleasure of sticking to his moronic chivalrous convictions. 

Surely he was happy to die. Apparently. Whether or not he actually was made no difference in the end. Just like with Glenn. 

Glenn had been outnumbered. Flames and steel scarred his body. Took the lives of knights and royalty alike.

What was wrong with Rodrigue? The war had taken its toll on everyone. No doubt a sentimental old fool like his father who was constantly worried and fussing over Dimitri. 

Not that Dimitri could be bothered with anyone's safety.

He should have been able to dodge one girl attacking. Why have the name Shield of Faerghus if you can't defend. 

Dimitri had just been standing there. Wallowing in his own suffering. 

And Felix. He hadn't even gotten a chance to do anything. He'd cut a path through Gronder. Earned his share of cuts and bruises. 

He'd gotten stronger, learned new sword fighting techniques. How to heal, magic. Reclassed to mortal savant. Trained daily, sometimes nightly, went to war council meetings that the boar could barely be bothered to attend. 

And for what?

For his father to die in a field while Felix was recovering from his own injuries. 

But if there's anyone who'd be willing to die for Dimitri that's still alive, besides Gilbert, it would be Rodrigue. 

Yet another Fraldarius dead for the good of their prince.

Rodrigue would be happy to have died like a true knight. 

Now it was just Felix. Now Felix was a Duke.   
Not that it mattered right now.

And in a few days time, he'd have to fight again. 

There was no time to grieve. Byleth and the rest of the army had tried to give it to him anyway.

Maybe that was a good thing. That there wasn't any time. 

He'd cried for Glenn. All those years ago. Through the sea of mourners and pityers. So he'd taken up the sword to distract himself. Rid himself of weakness and to gain power. 

He'd cried when Dimitri died. When he thought he was anyway. Silently, the night after they announced him executed. There was nothing Felix could do then either. All around him, people died and there wasn't anyway his strength could reach them. 

Somehow, Felix hoped he was still alive anyway. 

Times were bleak. He didn't always have time to think of it.

Those five years were both hell and some sort of blurry fog. He fought, tried to keep the Kingdom held together. Watched over his friends as best he could.

Just like now, just like always, it seemed like a losing battle. 

___

Dimitri was alive. Perhaps barely at all. When he'd truly seemed like a monster, tearing through the battlefield. Some of the soldiers called him a Tempest. Destroying everything. Himself, their enemies- who must have wished him dead more than anything. 

His voice rumbled and he growled and cut and path filled with blood and dead bodies.   
Felix did the same. For he wouldn't become one of the ghosts that Dimitri rambled too. The ones that Dimitri apparently listened to and spoke better than he did to him.

But even Byleth and Dedue could stop him so much. Felix when he bothered to stop. When Dimitri was content to match them all to their deaths.

From the way that the war was going, the way his father acted, and Dimitri and everyone else, Felix should have known. Even though his warnings and anger had fallen on deaf ears.

Now his father was dead. Felix's words could never reach him. Not that they would have reached him anyway before. Not that Felix was even there when he died. He agonized over the past more than he should. 

Not like everyone in this Seiros damned army wasn't willing to die for their prince. 

__

They'd buried his father in the ground. Ingrid cried. She was trying not to. Felix was trying not to. Sylvain held onto them like that would make everything okay. Somewhere, lurking in the trees, Felix knew Dimitri was there. 

People brought Felix flowers. He didn't want them. 

Flowers died. And he'd die if he let himself be caught in any sort of sentiment. 

Felix screamed and he cried. As silently as he could. Then he got back to sword drills. He wasn't about to die too. The shield of Aegis and the Sword of Moralta hung heavily over his body

__

And then, soon, they'd be marching towards Enbarr. 

Dimitri was trying to talk to Felix again. Almost like when they'd been at the academy together. His beastly persona was kept locked under his prince one. 

Only now it was worse. The sympathy trapped there. The loathing. Dimitri would feel sorry for Felix, he would blame himself. 

They'd lose the war and all end up in the ground. 

Felix had practiced. The council room was a blur as he said Dimitri's name for the first time in years. And even now, he wanted to say it. To see Dimitri. 

No matter how much he told himself he should hate him. 

The days leading up to their final battles loomed over them all. Dimitri had given him Felix space. Then still, Felix could tell he was watching him. Or maybe it was that Felix was so used to watching him, though he pretended not to in the past. 

Dimitri was out more, eating and helping out around the monastery. Taking the professor's advice for the first time in years.

When he looked at Felix, there was a sadness in his eye. He opened his mouth and closed it.

One day, when he was coming from the training grounds. Dimitri was watching. Felix turned sharply marched towards Dimitri. 

" What is it boar? He hissed. "What do you want?"

Dimitri frowned. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Then the frown was gone. He opened his mouth. 

" Felix, I am so sorry I-"

Felix turned back around. " I don't want to hear it. I told you I don't want to hear you're apologizing. I've told you before. Just win the war."

It wasn't like Dimitri didn't miss Rodrigue as well. But why is that what it took for Dimitri to listen? Why couldn't he have listened to Felix? Though sometimes, it wasn't like Felix did anything beyond yelling. What he felt like doing now. 

It had been weeks since his father's death. Days till they marched onward into battle again.

Seconds since Dimitri had said anything. He frowned and began to speak again.

" Felix… I know that it is selfish of me, however, I'd at least like to speak to you. If I were to di-"

Felix turned back around. "No." He didn't want to hear it. But Dimitri kept speaking anyway.

" I… I do not intend to. I intend to see the war out till the end. To recapture our homeland no matter what action I must take myself."

There he goes again. How many times will he try to throw his life away. For the sake of honor and chivalry and now ghosts. The ghosts of his father and Glenn. Maybe all the people who died for him. In their quest for freedom. To live. Though Felix is barely any better. 

Still, he can't hear Dimitri say the words. He turns back around. Turns to see Dimitri's stupid sad face. 

" Even if you do not believe me, you must know that I-"

" No. What is wrong with you? Dimitri you-" 

Felix balls his hands into fists. He should have known this was coming. The emotions welling up inside of him.

" Felix… I know that I cannot change the past. I need to try and atone for it, Felix."

" Why do you keep saying my name?" Why does Felix want to say Dimitri's? And yet that question is better than listening to Dimitri.

Dimitri who looks sad again. " I missed saying it. I missed you, Felix."

And Felix can't stop himself. He shakes, his knuckles turn white. And yet

" You could have come back," to me, for me. But he finds he can't stop himself from saying the last part. Try as he might. 

Can't help from saying, " All that time. Did you know if I was alive then? Did you know how much I missed you? Even though you're a fool. You don't listen and you didn't come back and you- You. Would it have mattered if I would have died then? It wouldn't have been enough. It's never been enough for you."

Dimitri waits, his eye is wide and dark. He waits and Felix thinks, wishes, that he hadn't said anything at all. 

Dimitri steps forward. Felix should run away. He should but he stands there anyway. 

" I never wanted this for you."

If things were better, he's sure that Dimitri would mention that this is how Felix used to be when they were kids. Dimitri would do something to make him upset. Not even on purpose. Some prince duties that kept them apart. If only things were that simple now. He wishes they were somewhere deep in his heart, an embarrassing place he wishes he could ignore. 

Felix would cry. But they'd hug and things would continue on. Because he knew Dimitri cared about him. 

Even when it seemed like he hadn't. When the world seemed so dark. Even now it does. All those childish fights over practically nothing feel so insignificant now. But Felix misses them. He misses him. 

Dimitri, who's been scarred by this stupid war and all the violence before it. 

" I know you didn't, you dolt," Felix mutters. Still, he can't take it. It's too much to deal with. "Don't talk to me." 

Dimitri talks to him anyway. Softly like he's some spooked animal that could flee any time. He goes to turn away slightly. To wipe at his wet and probably blotchy face. 

" Felix, truly I was not in my right mind then. Even now I- Well I do not wish to make excuses. I need you to know, I need to at the very least say to you, that I care about you. And I'm sorry. I intend to dedicate my life to you. To set things as right as I can."

Felix turns back and glares.   
" If you… if you saying that means you'll lay down and die then I don't want to hear it."

" I've no intention of dying."

" Good. Me either. I'm not- I won't die that easily."

" I know… I've no right to be… however… I'm glad. I'll leave you alone now, Felix."

Before Felix can think better of it, he objects. 

" That'll be hard when our rooms are close to each other. And you're not hold up in that cathedral anymore. If we're both in this army.  
Fighting under the same banner."

"No... If you don't want to then… I would understand."  
Dimitri tries not to frown. Felix knows he's putting on a brave face from experience. 

Felix shakes his head. Now, he knows more than ever, the choices that he wants to make. What it is he wants. Nothing to do with the honor or chivalry that's been forced onto him time and time again. The feelings that he's kept tapped down inside of him for so long. Admitting them here and now feels too final.

" If I didn't want to be… I wouldn't be here talking to you, Dimitri."

Dimitri looks somewhat startled. And Felix can admit this much. 

"Despite everything. Everything that's happened. I want… I want to be by your side and I want you to be by mine. That's all."  
He wants to turn away again. But he catches Dimitri's startled expression and his ridiculous smile and he smiles back. 

" Now come on," Felix says, allowing himself a long relieved breath. He turns fully and Dimitri comes close to him at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Dimilix Week! Thanks for reading!  
> I'm a total weeny and that's why everything worked out in the end. I was like I want Felix to suffer and I was like yeah but not that much. But the fact that Dimitri and Felix don't talk to each other like this in canon makes me sad.
> 
> Anyway, I'm @Tavitay on twitter


End file.
